The Dignity of Masking and Unmasking©
Purim and Florida House Bill 1557
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| Photo by Cory Woodward on Unsplash |
In February of 2021, just weeks before the country shut down due to the Covid-19 pandemic, our congregation held our first ever Keshet Shabbat sponsored by Keshet, an organization that works for the full equality of all LGBTQ Jews and our families in Jewish life through strengthening Jewish communities and equipping Jewish organizations with the skills and knowledge to build LGBTQ-affirming communities.
It was an incredible Shabbat that featured a dvar torah from one of our congregants, Louis Rosner, who identifies as gay, and a panel discussion with some of our LGTQI congregants and allies, mainly, relatives of LGBTQI individuals.
Prior to this moment, a couple of our congregants spoke to me about issues related to their trans relatives, but it was secretive. As their rabbi, I was one of the few people they told. But one of our congregants, who is now our president, Nancy Spivack, shared the story of her trans grandson with our congregation for the first time. As I reflected on this special Shabbat from two years ago, I could not help but see it in the context of the holiday of Purim, which we just celebrated a couple of days ago.
One of the most joyous aspects of Purim are putting on our costumes. In essence, Purim is about masking and unmasking. There are several reasons given for this practice, such as acting like Mordechai who also played dress up in the story, or Esther who dressed like a princess and hid her Jewish identity, but there was another reason I found that was really interesting:
We dress differently on Purim to minimize the embarrassment of the poor who go around collecting charity on this day—a day when we give charity to everyone who outstretches their hand (Minhagei Kol Yaakov).
On Purim, we play around with the idea of playing with different identities. For a day, we get to walk in someone’s else’s clothes. This last reason adds a different element - we dress up so those who are on the outs of society can feel a bit more included and so they can have just as much dignity as we have. Here we see the values of Kevod HaBriyot - providing dignity for God’s creations, human beings, and Betzelem Elohim, treating each person as if they are a reflection of the divine image, no matter how they look on the outside.
I bring this up because of the recent legislation in our state of Florida, amongst many other states.
Before I talk about this legislation, I wanted to share that I’m trying to move away from knee jerk reactions to news stories and legislation. I am trying to resist the urge to comment based on emotion, which, I have to say was very difficult after reading about Florida House Bill 1557. Depending on where you stand politically, it is called both the Parental Rights Bill or the Don’t Say Gay Bill. Instead of choosing one of these names, I’m going to use the title of the bill - HB1557.
I have to be honest, I am still having trouble understanding this bill, but, the impetus seems to be about a school in Tallahassee that is being sued by parents for calling their child by the child’s preferred pronouns, and the question of whether or not a school can share information about their child’s gender identity or sexuality with the parents. The school board gave the following reason for why they can’t divulge this information to parents: Outing a student, especially to parents, can be very dangerous to the students [sic] health and well-being. Some students are not able to be out at home because their parents are unaccepting of LGBTQ+ people out. As many as 40% of homeless youth are LGBTQ+, many of whom have been rejected by their families for being LGBTQ+. Outing students to their parents can literally make them homeless.”
But it’s not just about homelessness; it’s about their very lives.
More than half of transgender male teens who participated in the survey reported attempting suicide in their lifetime, while 29.9 percent of transgender female teens said they attempted suicide. Among non-binary youth, 41.8 percent of respondents stated that they had attempted suicide at some point in their lives.
Many transgender young people experience family rejection, bullying and harassment, or feel unsafe for simply being who they are - all of which can be added risk factors for suicide.
Supporters of the bill say that these new rules only apply from K - 3rd grade; it involves only instruction, but not discussion, but that is not so clear from the language.
But, let’s take a step back: the Florida legislature is basing a law because of one actual case, but, it is laws like these that bring attention from all of us. It galvanizes people to vote and to be active in politics, whether you are for or against.
But to me, laws like these are using our children as pawns in our game of politics.
As we all know, our tradition demands that we teach our children Torah, that we teach them how to swim, teach them a profession - teaching our children is one of the most important values that we stress.
But, in my eyes, this bill is more about parents than it is about children. I often tell expectant parents that parenthood is much less like buying a CD and more like buying a stock - there are no guaranteed returns on investment. Sometimes, we can control the path our children take, but more often than not, we are out of control, despite our best efforts. Sometimes, the picture we have of our children’s path in life when they are born turns out to be much different when they reach adulthood.
In this week’s parashah, Tzav, we read about Aaron and his sons and how they come the priests, through a ceremony called Melueem - מִּלֻּאִים found in Leviticus 8:31 - 36. In this passage, Aaron and his sons had to remain in the Tent of Meeting for 7 days. After that period, they would be ‘filled up’, from the word Maleh, with their new identities, and emerge as if they are new people.
It is a ceremony that marks changing status which is a big part of Judaism today. Think about the bnai mitzvah, when we mark when a child becomes an adult member of the Jewish community. These rituals help us appreciate the growth of individuals, marking the end of one version, and the start of a new one.
But these rituals also do something that’s even more important - they teach the individual that they are embraced by their family, friends, and community. In short, they learn that they are not alone.
The fear I have is that some of our children will be stigmatized due to this law.
Honestly, I do not know the answer as to exactly how gender identity works, but I know people, and children, and I know that this bill has the potential to alienate children who may be different, who are wearing a costume where they look just like everyone else, but deep down, they know they can’t honestly show how they feel inside. Bills like these have the potential to alienate children of same sex couples. I imagine that this book: the Purim Superhero would be banned from schools.
Here’s a description of the book:
Nate loves aliens and he really wants to wear an alien costume for Purim, but his friends are all dressing as superheroes and he wants to fit in. What will he do? With the help of his two dads he makes a surprising decision.
I’ll read you a review of the book:
"People forget that Superman is an alien. This book is a reminder that that's the source of his strength.
Here's a secret that isn't taught in school: Everyone has a superpower. It might be drawing monsters or kindness to strangers or the ability to read an unusual number of books. Nate's power is that he feels like an alien. He's the only boy in his class with two fathers, Daddy and Abba. All the boys in Nate's Hebrew school class are dressing up as superheroes for Purim, but Nate really wants a green costume with antennae."
'Sometimes showing who you really are makes you stronger, ' Abba says, 'even if you're different from other people.' Nate's secret power gives him unusual creativity, and his solution wins him an award for most original costume.
The review of the PJ Library book ends with the following:
A generation from now, this book may feel hopelessly outdated: A moral about tolerance and being yourself may seem painfully obvious. Many will view this as a sign of progress. If that happens, it will be because of the work of heroes like Nate. For now, this book is both timely and entirely satisfying.(Kirkus Reviews)
On Purim, we are reminded of the power of masking and unmasking, but one of the most powerful messages of Purim comes from Mordechai and Esther who stand up for the Jews who were characterized by Haman as being a dangerous minority that is seeking to take down an empire, when in reality, they were an oppressed group just to live their lives like everyone else. On Purim, we dress up so no one can tell the difference between who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’ - for one day, every person can be treated with the dignity and respect that God granted them when they were born.
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Read more about laws that target LGBTQI individuals from Idit Klein, CEO of Keshet, and Is Perlman, a Jewish non-binary first-year student at Columbia University, a Keshet youth leader, and a native Floridian.
Bills attacking LGBTQ rights are an assault on Jewish values — and Jewish teens
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