The Plague of Darkness and Addiction© – Parashat Bo
Rabbi David Baum, Congregation Shaarei Kodesh
There's an old joke in Fiddler on the Roof, as they are being kicked out of Anatekva, Tevya looks up and says to God, Tevye: “I know, I know. We are Your chosen people. But, once in a while, can't You choose someone else?”
The Chosen People – double-edged sword – makes us feel special and important, but also, we are held to a higher standard.
This week, our community heard from a mother and son, Lisa and Jacob Hillman, speak about their story of addiction. I learned about Lisa through an article she read for the Jewish Forward where she spoke about her situation with her son Jacob who became an addict. Here's an excerpt from the article:
“When that first phone call came early in Jacob’s senior year of high school, I thought for sure the teacher had the wrong kid. “Lisa,” this respected adviser said, “some of Jacob’s friends have come to me. They’re worried. They think he’s been drinking and smoking marijuana. They’re really not sure what else, and he’s hanging out with the wrong crowd.”
The sunlight in our home suddenly faded. Although educated and experienced in health care, I knew little about drug use. This was something that happened to “other” families, certainly not mine. There was no substance use in our family, at least none we knew of. Weren’t Jews immune to this problem? That’s what I thought. We knew of no Jewish child or adult who was an alcoholic, let alone a serious drug user.”
In other words, how could this happen to the chosen people?
When the Jewish Forward contacted her, they said to her, honestly, we don't think this is a big issue in the Jewish community – but the article became very popular. What Lisa and Jacob learned through their process was that they were actually not alone.
This week's parashah we read about the final three plagues – locusts, darkness, and the slaying of the firstborn. In the plague of the locust, we read:
Locusts invaded all the land of Egypt and settled within all the territory of Egypt in a thick mass; never before had there been so many, nor will there ever be so many again.
וַיְכַ֞ס אֶת־עֵ֣ין כָּל־הָאָרֶץ֮ וַתֶּחְשַׁ֣ךְ הָאָרֶץ֒
They hid all the land from view, and the land was darkened;
So if the land was darkened, why have this 9th plague? Here is how the Torah describes the 9th plague:
וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יְי אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֗ה נְטֵ֤ה יָֽדְךָ֙ עַל־הַשָּׁמַ֔יִם וִ֥יהִי חֹ֖שֶׁךְ עַל־אֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרָ֑יִם וְיָמֵ֖שׁ חֹֽשֶׁךְ׃
Then the LORD said to Moses, “Hold out your arm toward the sky that there may be darkness upon the land of Egypt, a darkness that can be touched.”
וַיֵּ֥ט מֹשֶׁ֛ה אֶת־יָד֖וֹ עַל־הַשָּׁמָ֑יִם וַיְהִ֧י חֹֽשֶׁךְ־אֲפֵלָ֛ה בְּכָל־אֶ֥רֶץ מִצְרַ֖יִם שְׁלֹ֥שֶׁת יָמִֽים׃
Moses held out his arm toward the sky and thick darkness descended upon all the land of Egypt for three days.
לֹֽא־רָא֞וּ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־אָחִ֗יו וְלֹא־קָ֛מוּ אִ֥ישׁ מִתַּחְתָּ֖יו שְׁלֹ֣שֶׁת יָמִ֑ים וּֽלְכָל־בְּנֵ֧י יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל הָ֥יָה א֖וֹר בְּמוֹשְׁבֹתָֽם׃
People could not see one another, and for three days no one could get up from where he was; but all the Israelites enjoyed light in their dwellings.
But perhaps it's also a darkness that we impose by ignoring it – to quote Mark Twain – Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. Lisa wrote in her article:
“Meanwhile, I hid his addiction — or tried to. Denial, then shame, consumed me. Nowhere could I find refuge from the heart-wrenching thoughts of what he was doing to his body. I knew he was using but wasn’t sure what. Droopy eyelids at dinnertime, slips of charred aluminum foil on his bedroom carpet, late- night disappearances all painted a nightmare I didn’t know how to face.”
People could not see one another – or themselves.
Eventually, Jacob received treatment after addiction his to Opioids – and there were times when he was clean, and there were times when people would say he 'relapsed', but she doesn't use that word – she says, 'he had a re-occurrence', almost like cancer coming back after remission.
Another mother during the evening session shared the story of her daughter who was clean for 7 years, and her disease reoccurred – she said, it is as if she is in a coma, in the darkness.
So what is the solution?
There was a mother who brought her two teens with her to the event and she said, “Jacob, scare my kids straight!”
-Jacob explained to the exacerbated mother: “I might have gotten drugs from my friends in high school, but they aren't addicts now, in fact, they don't even use, but I am.” In other words, it's not so black and white. Addiction is very complicated.
So what CAN we do?
Lisa gave us all some great advice: don't shut your friends and family out – make room for them in the form of Alcoholics Anonymous and Al-Anon meetings. I'm so proud that Shaarei Kodesh hosts two meetings a week – AA and Al-Anon within our walls. Al-Anon is friends and family of alcoholics, and Lisa attends these meetings in her home state.
Jacob said, connect those struggling with addiction with those who are now sober. Jacob said: "Addicts need soul food – there is something empty inside of them that they are trying to fill. Be an open place for them."
And so I thought about Lisa's line about: The sunlight in our home suddenly faded...
And I thought about the darkness that could be touched, and I remembered the line in this week's parashah about Bnai Israel:
לֹֽא־רָא֞וּ אִ֣ישׁ אֶת־אָחִ֗יו וְלֹא־קָ֛מוּ אִ֥ישׁ מִתַּחְתָּ֖יו שְׁלֹ֣שֶׁת יָמִ֑ים וּֽלְכָל־בְּנֵ֧י יִשְׂרָאֵ֛ל הָ֥יָה א֖וֹר בְּמוֹשְׁבֹתָֽם׃
People could not see one another, and for three days no one could get up from where he was; but all the Israelites enjoyed light in their dwellings.Does it mean that we are chosen, that we will never dwell in the darkness? No, I don't think so. But I read an interesting commentary on this line by Chizkuni, a 12th-century French commentator:
היה אור במושבותם, “there was light in their dwellings.” It is noteworthy that the Torah here does not refer to the province of Goshen as it had done during other plagues, but implies that Israelites living in other parts of Egypt were also not affected by this plague. Our sages claim that when an Israelite entered the house of an Egyptian he was able to see normally in that house also. (Sh’mot Rabbah 14,3)
This idea of people helping others in the darkness is powerful and should fill us up with hope.
I'll never forget talking to a family friend – I always ask how his kids are doing. He has three grown children, but one of them struggles with addiction. I always ask, how's J. One day he told me, “thank you for asking about her...no one does.”
We have to keep asking about and caring for the people in the darkness that can be touched.
Many of you have family who struggles with addiction – don't treat them like it's their fault; like they are weak – would we treat a cancer patient like that? Let's share the light with them – bring the light into their homes.
I'll end with Lisa's words about what so many like her are going through:
What I share most with these families is hope. There is a saying — “Addicts are angels in the making.” If that’s true, Jacob has become an angel in my life, keeping me honest, helping me stay focused, knowing what I can control, and feeling gratitude for all I have."
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